November 20 (Bloomberg) — The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.
The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said.
“You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything,” said Ali.
Apparently Citi employees will be required to wear eye patches.
It’s all fun and games until the Crimson Permanent Assurance comes along.
Certainly the pirates won’t do worse than current management.
I’m banking with Citibank… thank the FSM for the FDIC.
Hi Guys,FYI, in case I haven’t made it clear before …I worked for Citi for 18 years, and just got laid off in early October. No hard feelings; they gave me a good severance package, and I’m enjoying my time off.Oddly, with all this free time, I’ve been blogging less.Best Thanksgiving wishes to all.
Aarghh where be that M&A department matey
Oh, shit… I’m sorry to hear that, Stephen.
Maybe the Somali pirates are hiring. Sorry about the job, but I’m sure with 18 years experience, there are good jobs out there. So Happy Thanksgiving to you to, and all you people down south who celebrate it at the wrong time.
Pirates!? As in “Arrrrgh?!”
Every day will be “Talk Like A Pirate Day” now. Not a bad thing.
Adjustable Rate Mortgage? We call them Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrm’s for short.I’ll stop now.
Okay, I’ll stop if someone can tell me what kind of socks a pirate wears.
ARRRRGyl. of course.I can’t believe I answered that, but the FSM demands worship.
I’m sorry to hear that, Stephen. I hope you find something soon.
Why haven’t we seen anything of Johnny Depp recently?
If you’re looking for ideas, why not post another smackdown of ID?
Since Stephen hasn’t been posting much lately, I thought I’d spam this thread with the link for my new blog:The Unreligious RightI figured if I could write multiple post-sized comments on here, I might as well start my own blog too :).